been here for 5 days now. been havin classes for 4.
already got a ton of work waitin to be done. blah.
but what's pissin me off even more-
it's beautiful outside, but where am i?
shut up inside somebody's gotdamn computerlab w/ the longest face in the world. dude... all i do since i've been here is go to class, sit in my room. go eat, sit in my room. lather, rinse, repeat. & i got my own room now, so it's just like
...
i'm soooo fuckin lonely, man. seriously, i'd dare say that shit wasn't this bad @ home. why am i lonely, u ask? evrybody i used to hang with is just bein mad anti-social (read: the 2 ppl that i hang with). actually no, i take that back. the short one be busy w/ volleyball. the tall one just be ackin like she don't wanna be bothered w/ us no more. like right now, she's out walkin around the city, sum'n we all used to do together bondin & shit, just to stay busy & away from the dirges of depression. she just bounced tho & plainly ain't want no company so... *shrugs*. said she was walkin to walmart & the 'library' (which, coincidentally, was the spot she ditched me at just yesterday to be stuck up under her newfound obsession when we was out walkin).
it's whatever tho.
she wanna go out & swerve, more power to her. i hope it's fun.
i'm not finna impose my presence or be pushed aside tho. if this bullsnit gets any worse im jus gonna head to the sidelines & keep company w/ my $262.65 books.
this still sucks, tho. nobody wants to be alone. especially here, in a place where i feel mad ostracized & alienated anyway. the way im feelin rite onw, i just really don't wanna be here & escapism is knockin on my door louder than ever. im tired of this place, gettin tired of these ppl. blech.
there have been some highlights, tho.
got some good packages from good ppl... *kisses to yall*
and i ran into lamarco yesterday as i was walkin back to my room after bein ditched at the gotdamn library. me, him & britt are posed to go out tonite, but that remains to be seen. well, I'M goin. i refuse to sit here. hopefully good ol lamarco can help me keep my sanity.
i just hope this year passes quick & i prove myself academically. it's not gonna be easy, i can see that now. b/t social & academic stresses, tis gonna be a bitch & a half. but i can do it, right?
right?
right.
im kickin this yr's ass, & i mean that.
i'ma get graduated from this bitch w/ honors
& then im movin. dunno where & at this point i really don't care so long as i get outta this rut.
