tell me why the light in my room is finna go out & the heat does not work. the room heaters in my building don't work independently of each other, so either the air's workin or the heat's workin. they have not turned the heat on yet.
it was 38 fucking degrees last nite.
it's gonna FROST tonite.
i've had trouble sleeping cause for whatever reason fallin asleep is kinda hard when u're shivering violently.
god only knows when they gon turn the heat on. and as for the light, that's just negligence. ol bullshit ass fallin down ass never workin ass building. i hate this place.
i had some more bullshit to rant about but i just came across some new bullshit that made me forget all the other bullshit.
there's this conference coming up. in wisconsin. it'll be a great opportunity for me to see the school, meet the drs. who've written a lotta my text books, do some networking. a professor of mine & britt's said we shld apply to get some money for the trip (the same way we got money to go do research in chicago). she's excited. britt's excited. so im game. plus it's a free trip.
i work my gotdamn ass off on that application. britt & i were to apply seperately so that we'd get more money. we were supposed to get together to work on it one weekend, but she took off w/ her boyfriend. im like cool, whatever, she wants to go, so she'll get it done.
i turned in my application yesterday. dr. gillett calls me today sayin it's been approved & all we need to do is work out how the money will be given out or sumthin.
i go to lunch today & britt just happens to be in there (we rarely eat together anymore). so i go sit w/ her & tell her bout the phone call i got & asked her if she'd turned in her application.
'i'm not goin.'
...
?
what are u talkin about? why aren't you goin?
apparently she just gradually decides, as i'm takin time outta workin on academic shit to get this done that she's not interested in goin anymore. okay......... when the hell was she gonna tell me? so now i either go by myself--which i don't really wanna do--or just don't go at all. that's some bullshit, man, i can't believe this. and in the beginning she was wunna the main ones amped about it.
i let her know that i was very unhappy about the whole thing, though admittedly not as much as i shld have. my mama always told me that i'm good at not takin shit from ppl i don't know or don't like, but when it comes to ppl i care about i get walked on on occassion. i shld have told her evrything that was runnin thru my mind just then but being respectful of how sensetive she is i kept it mild & civil.
why the fuck she ain't tell me? WHEN was she gonna tell me?
now i essentially have to decide tonite what im gonna do.
*sigh*
u know what
ive been tryna avoid sayin so, but ima say it now.
brittany is officially on some bullshit. i just don't know what the hell is goin on w/ her this yr. we don't kick it no more, we don't talk no more. this is bullshit.
ima tell u what i think, & it may be a stretch, but here's what i think- i think she's been spendin so much time w/ this negro that got her nose wider than a freight train that when she's here on campus all she has time for is her school work & didn't have time to get the application done. consequently, i think that's why our friendship has dwindled. when she ain't in his damn pocket she has homework to do. i've officially been cut out.
& it sucks cause she was like my sister for a really really long time. i don't think i'd ever had a friendship that strong, save the one me & dallas had before she left. she went w/ me on my family vacation to florida for fuck's sake & now we don't even speak everyday? what the fuck? i had a tangible best friend for awhile & it was dope while it lasted. shit changes, i guess.
today was the wake up call tho. she don't need me no more apparently & im not gon be too quick to depend on her for anything else.
tis officially me against the world now & ima hafta be okay w/ that.
*counts down days til graduation & moveouttakentuckytuation*
