ya mama got jell-o feet w/ fruit in the toes.

i remembered sunrises that night.

i had finally found my way back into his arms. we spent the evening & late night hrs touching, tasting, tickling.. just making up for lost time.
when we tired we opened the window, and sat on the bed looking out over the city, he reclining b/t my legs. we were naked, wrapped in the bed's comforter, and as the heat rose from our bodies & bounced around inside our little shell i became so aware of his skin next to mine. it was like i cld count each of his pores & evrylittle hair.

the night was gorgeous--black, lit only by the streetlights of the buildings across the way, the streets empty, sidewalks bare, save a wanderer or two, and on the 9th floor we felt so much bigger than the world below, like earth itself was kowtowing at our feet, waiting for our will to be spoken. but here, in the midst of such nocturnal perfection, i began to remember sunrise.

i thought about all those nights we spent together alone on the phone til the early morning hours, watching the same sun spill thru our bedrooms at different angles. i loved watching it come up--it was like a big blanket covering both he & i, and it made me feel closer to him even though we were apart. i remembered how cold and unfeeling my own bed felt at those moments and grew smug remembering that those moments were now as distant as the sun itself. i have him here. i triumphed over that lonely ass bed. i squeezed him tighter.

the next night we spent in that bed together was our last. i felt nauseous laying next to him, waiting for the celestial thief to slip over the horizon & steal me from him.

i cried like a baby that night.
after he kissed my tears away we sat again reclining on the bed, naked, i b/t his legs this time as he held me close & rocked me softly. i stared out the widow at the world that was ours just yesterday and tossed the words to the Cardigans' 'No Sleep'..

...and if I had one wish fulfilled tonight
i'd ask for the sun to never rise
if God leant his voice to me to speak
i'd say go to bed, world...


how fickle sunrises can be.



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