the ending has been lost-
-------------------------
my mama began givin me me
bits of herself
as soon as i let go of her womb
& moved into her mother's house
w/ her
these hips once belonged to her
she gave them as a gift
on my 12th bornday
her wit
temper
graceful fingers
& quick smile
soon followed suit
& settled in the corners of my mouth
& before i was old enuff
to challenege words
too wide for my tongue
mama told me
to watch out for men
w/ funny colored eyes
daddy passed on his
forehead/wide nose/cheekbones
& nearsightedness
& when our eyes met for the first time
i cldn't see past
his million watt smile
when he'd visit at school it was always
'your daddy's so handsome'
'you two look alike, you really do'
'you look just like him'
& i'd smile a proud smile
like i'd seen him do so many times before
but i was so little then
my grin didn't spread nearly as wide
as his did
but i still felt pretty
cause my daddy was deathly handsome
& i looked just like him
'cept my eyes were just plain ol' brown
& his are blue/green/brown
they change like the bed of a setting sun
i've seen them look like the Nile
& pale sapphires
& newborn crabgrass
all at the same time
but mine have always been the color of ky mud
after an autumn rain
nuthin special til the light kisses them
then they set ablaze
they almost look like his then
& when i was little
i fed on the sun
as soon as it was served each morning
so people cld see
that i was my father's daughter
'cause i wanted to be
my father's daughter
but his eyes stopped bein beautiful
when boys started lookin at me
like i was a woman or sumthin
they all looked like him
when i closed my eyes
& my mama's words richocheted
beneath my lids
that's when they turned funny lookin
they became the star that marked his difference
& kept me at bay
cause if mama told me to stay away
sumthin had to be wrong
& when i left home
i finally put a title
to the wordless song
age 18
i became a new-millineum collegiate
freedom fighter
& my daddy's blk republicanness
didn't agree w/ my new
angela davis/audre lorde/alice walker ways
& besides
what kinda afrikan man got blue/green/brown eyes
anyway?
ol' sold out
assimilated
self-hatin'
uncle tom ass nigga
you can't save blk america
w/ eyes like those
you can't care a/b blk men
who ain't got what you got
or blk women like my mama
w/ your eyes changin from
early mornin blue
to mama nature green
to sandy secretive brown
you can't love a lil girl
whose irises are the color of
wet mahogany after sunset
& have funny colored eyes
& i can't call you daddy
cause mama said to be wary
of men w/ eyes like yours
since then
i have been romanced
by some of the brightest hazels
that heaven has ever birthed
i laugh w/ them
flirt w/ them
allow my hips to
call them to my feminine side
but beyond that
nothing happens
cause they begin to look like
the daddy i almost had
their tongues bear that
funny blue/green/brown song
that mama always told me not to listen to
& i turn away
cause i want somethin brown
& sweet
& safe
i've been spit at one too many times
& i'm not down w/ cryin rusted tears
no more
so in the summer of '02
i was ready to write poems
a/b earth's darkest browns
& how god personally told me
that chocolate was her
favorite color
and blues and greens
were devilish tones
unless in a woman's hands
