im not tryna get used to it cause life's a roller coaster these days. i spect a valley to come knock me offa my peak at any minute.
but now tho. i been feelin good.
except for this very moment. i cant sleep and im thinkin too much. thinkin too much at this hr usually breeds a bit of loneliness, which it has.
but whatever.
i feel like im sorta makin strides w/ this job search thing. no, i dont have a job yet, but today i did get my first offer for an interview. the bad news is that im not too sure ill be able to make it; it's in pewee valley, ky, which is on the outskirts of the other side of town where im pretty sure buses dont run, and if they do run it'll take no less than 2 hrs to get out there from my house. i caint be doin that evryday tryna get there at like 8 in the mornin. still, it's nice to know that at least SOMEbody is somewhat interested in me.
ive decided to do a lil sumn w/ my free time and organize a voter registration drive to get more blk ppl in this city to vote. i decided to do so after seein fahrenheit 9/11 again on the 4th of july. sean & teddy and said they'd help out. hopefully we'll do some good in the hood.
havin friends & such from different parts of the nation is like the greatest thing ever. new views, different accents, exposure to different stuff. it's a blessing. but sometimes i be feelin a lil slow & hickish tho; sometimes it feels like the north & south really are 2 seperate worlds & there's so much goin on in the other sphere, like simple pop culture shit that evrybody is up on but me. sometime i be feelin a outcast like a muhfka. but whatever. im the shit & so's the south and ill cut anybody who begs to differ.
im seriously startin to think that this writin shit aint for me. it's gotten to the pt now where i dont even like sitting down with the intention to write cause nuthin ever happens and i get frustrated and i feel like a failure and i get disgusted with myself and yall, i dont have no other talents for real. i've set a goal for myself & decided that this is what ima do w/ myself... ive decided that ima pay a hundred thousands of dollars to study this shit in school and if i cant do that, what the hell else ima do? i really feel like i dont have it anymore. there's no creatvity. evrything that comes out of my fingers now is corny or a cliche, or a corny cliche, and i hate them for it. i need new fingers.
i need a typewriter.
i need to move. my setting is fuckin shit up.
it's 1:43 am. i was up til 3 last nite & i guess that's what it'll be tonite too.
ugh.
shouts to whoever's readin this here blawg right now.
and who is a smarty arty? i been meanin to ask, but a smarty arty left a comment in a comment box a few entries ago and i caint place who u are.
do i owe u money?
if so, i died last week and i wont be able to help u out.
yo, speakin of money
how bout i get a bank statement from my bank talkin bout im overdrawn by $273!
!!!!!
????
i sincerely dont think that's correct. ima look into that tomorrow.
im outta stuff to say. i do, however, have a random picture of me bein silly in an afro that i'd love to share w/ the masses:
holler!
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