yesterday was my big brother's birthday. he's 30. we were gonna go see him last weekend but my mama didnt feel well so we didnt make the trip up to innanapolis.
a week ago i came home to find my mama very visibly upset. upset as in mad. mad as in pissed. i asked her what was wrong and she said nothing. i climbed up in the bed w/ her and she tossed me a white envelope. inside was a letter, typed in all capital letters. it was from my brother (i think he typed in all caps so he wldnt have to worry about proper capitalization). i read it.
yrs ago my brother got caught up with this crazy hoodrat named stephanie. stephanie had him arrested several times, each time unjustly. once she went over his house in a rage at something, broke into his house with a brick when he wldnt let her in, snatched the herringbone chain, called the police and said he threw her down a hill (note: there is no hill near the house he was staying ten). another time i remember going over to her house with my mother one rainy midnight to find a street full of police cars w/ flashing lights, my brother's face full of tears, and stephanie standing on her porch watching and smiling like a queen. when my eldest neice was 2, she called stephanie's house and left a very profane message on her phone ('leave my daddy alone, fuck you, stephanie, i hate you) for which she got a huge whoopin for. children know. tiara hated her.
my mother and i are just above hating stephanie.
trav's the only reason we dont hate her fully now.
his letter said that he knew that we wldnt approve of her (my mother in particular), but he loves her and she's grown up a lot as ppl do, and he wants us (mainly my mother) to accept her and respect his decision. my mother is stull full of her motherly rage and wants nothing to do with her. i was so proud when i read his letter that i accepted her immediately. cant say i forgive her, but i have come a long way from keeping one of our louisville sluggers behind the front door just in case she came over trippin.
so for his birthday, i wrote my brother a long letter telling him that i love him very much and that im very proud of him for what he did, and i explained to him why ive been so silent about my lil romantic life or whatever (mostly that reason is my mother) and i told him that i admire him & his courage.
happy birfday big bruvvah.
today.
M A N .
let
me
tell
YOU!
so ive never been one to have pms, right? like the sympoms--the hysterics, the cravings, the high emotional sensitivity, the crying for no reason, the cramps--none of that. i do be gettin crazy bloated tho. but hell im bloated damn near 360 days of the yr. im just a gassy girl.
anyway
today i had my 2nd crazy menstral woman mood swing in my history of egg makin. and yall i didnt even realize it til it was over. im at work, talkin to my favorite person on IM (he be keepin me company 7 of the 8 hrs im there). and we're talkin about the silliest of shit, right, i mean we may as wella been discussin which breakfast cereal is worthy of bein eaten for lunch and i got so worked up. over nothing! n o t h i n g ! and yall i just wld not just let the shit die but i swear foe god i was rational and logical and right in my mind.
and cryin all damn day.
all day! at my desk! wtf.
and so i said i didnt wanna talk about fruit loops and cap'n crunch no more for what mustve been the 8th time and it hits-
'man i just wanna forget about today cause im just diggin the hole deeper and OH SHIT!!!'
that's when i realized what it was!!
yall it seemed like this huge ominous black sky just opened up and lifted and the sunshine started pourin in and then we just laffed about it.
that's crazy man.
i dont see how yall womenfolk go thru that shit every month and emerge sane for the last 28 days. once every 7-8 yrs is more than enough for me.
