bobby is the husband of my grandmother's only sister, tennie (her real name is janie), so this is my great-uncle by marriage and he'll probably die tonight.
my cousin dorothy, bobby and tennie's daughter, called for my granny today at about 4 pm today but she was at the store. she told me that uncle bobby was in the hospital again; they took him in on friday after he kept throwing up and couldnt keep anything on his stomach. i wasnt immediately alarmed cause he's 86 and his health has been steadily declining, so he's always in and out of the hospital. when they took him in friday they wanted to keep him for observation, then wanted to keep him overnight for monitoring, and today they moved him into intensive care. i still didnt worry til my granny got home and told me shortly after that dorothy wanted all available family members to come to the hospital. i didnt know whether it was just to pray over him or to say goodbye. everybody was called to say goodbye when my great uncle james died. i opted to hope for the former.
when my granny came home from the hospital, she told me that his lungs and chest were filling with fluid and he probably wouldnt make it through the night. that's how my great uncle claude died. he had lung cancer and his filled with fluid. the last time i saw him he kept coughing and coughing and coughing up stuff. she said that tennie was upset, of course, and that the last thing she told her before she left the hospital was that bobby was gonna be alright.
i am sad for the looming loss of life and the pain those closer to him than i will endure, but i have not cried and dont know taht i will, at least until the funeral, if i go. to me, my uncle bobby was one of those old family members you begrudgingly kissed after they demanded it at family reunions and on holidays. everytime i saw him, the dialogue ritual was the same:
him: girl you better come over here and gimmie some sugar! me: *kiss* him: hooooot dog! im the first man you ever kissed, don't you know that??
my granny said the last time she saw him before he went into the hospital was last sunday and he asked about me then: "where's that lil' ol' girl i kissed?!"
so uncle bobby and i have not been as close as i and some of my other great/uncles. honestly, i never liked how he treated my aunt tennie--my granny and mother would comment at length occassionally about how bobby was so mean and controlling. their daddy (my granny and tennie's) didnt want bobby near his daughter or in his family, but they married anyway. he's a very strict, devout Christian preacher and ive seen him act in very domineering and controlling ways toward aunt tennie.
when my granny came home from the hospital, i sat at the table and talked with her for ahwile because i figured she'd need a listening ear after the evening she had. i enjoyed it, believe it or not. for the first time in a very long while, i think, i saw some of my granny in myself.
ive mentioned this here before, but my aunt tennie and my granny are polar opposites personality-wise. my granny is a firecracker--cusses like a sailor and can be mean as a bear with a bee in its bonnet. my aunt tennie, tho, is sweet as sugarwater. she told me that in their youth, my aunt tennie would carry a hammer in her purse in case she ever needed it, but would always call my granny when there was someone to fight. "tennie'd call me when she wanted me to whoop somebody," she chuckled, "cause she knew i'd do it. and she was right 'cause no matter where i was, even if it'd been months since we'd talk, id pack up and--" she gave me a knowing glance and laughed. "'cause i'm a fighter, you know." i tried to picture her 20 years old and shapely with balled fists and a handfull of some unfortunate woman's hair or fingernails full of uncle bobby's skin. i smiled.
my granny told me that she didnt like uncle bobby either when they were young. "he didn't treat tennie right," she said, "and tennie loved that man to death. she worshipped the ground that boy walked on and he treated her so bad. eugene (my grandfather) didnt treat me right, that's the reason we didn't stay married. i cain't stay with no nigger don't treat me right." i smiled then at hoe i am my grandmother's granddaughter.
so anyway, the man who was so mean to the sweetest woman in the world is dying and we are sad because we love him even so. i called my moyher to tell her. she was saddened, but didn't cry. "aw, shit. i kinda like that old geezer. and he was crazy bout you." i promised i would keep her posted (she's out of town this weekend).
i said a prayer for uncle bobby tonight, and for aunt tennie too. brittany's baby's coming tomorrow; they're gonna induce if nothing happens tonight. as one life leaves this world, another makes its grand entrance.
what a roller coaster.
my thoughts are wih you, uncle bobby. we love you.
