about 20 minutes ago i heard a door slam and didn't think anything of it. bout 5 minutes later i hear my grandmother coming up the steps to my room, sniffling. a crying sniffle. i figure she and my mama had another stupid little spat and she just needed to get away from my mama for awhile. figured she'd sit on the edge of my bed and talk in a low sad tone about uncle bobby and everyother depressing thing she would muster, conclude with a remark about my mama and what happened and leave.
i dont turn to look at her until she calls my name. her voice is strangled and she's almost hyperventilating.
'tracy, what of your stuff have i bothered down there that you cain't find?'
uh.. what?
she repeats it with what i thought was growing anger in her voice. i didnt know if she was fussing and mad at me or what. she then says a bunch of stuff like 'if i ever do something to ur stuff that u dont like, i wish u'd tell me, just tell me,' cryin all hard on the bed in the other part of my room. im bewildered like a motherfucker. i just look at her cause i dont even know how to respond.
couple minutes later, up comes my mother. i dont remember what she said exactly, but from what she said i gathered a crude synopsis of the situation. my mama was in the basement looking for a box. she cant find it and gets frustrated. she asks my granny. she prolly gets defensive and claims, as usual, that she has no knowledge of any box and hasnt moved anything. i think she does that b/c she knows she's not supposed to be moving anything, and she knows we hate it when she moves thing because we can never find it again, and she knows we've asked her to stop doing it, but she just can't bear to oblige b/c that's just how she is. so, she denies it. let my mother tell it, a firm but rational conversation between the two of them transpires and my granny breaks out in tears for no reason. i don believe that. my mama got a bad temper, and my granny, who, i admit, acts like a child as of late (ever heard the saying "once a man, twice a child?"), often finds herself on the business end of an angry daughter who now feels like her mother and talks to her as such when she gets angry.
at this point my granny is crying and accusing my mother of just that.
'..and im sick and tired of bein talked to like a dog!' my mother denies doing so, obviously angered and sort of hurt too, maybe. 'yes u do! the only time u're nice to me is when i call u at work!'
i have to side with my granny here, and i told my mother so after my grandmother went back downstairs and it was my mothers turn to use my ears as anger recepticals.
'..and she always say that! she always says that i treat her like a dog, i dont talk to her like a dog!'
here i decided to get my grown woman on and interject. 'can i say something that u probably wont like really quick?' she gives the okay. 'you probably dont realize it, but when you get frustrated, you do talk to her rather disrespectfully, in my opinion.' i was proud of myself. i said it calmly and firmly and looked her right in the eyes. i expected her to get mad at me and feel betrayed, but instead she said
'okay, ill work on that.'
me: will you apologize for it?
'hell no.'
the front door just slammed about 5 mintues ago. i assume that my mother's gone, probably down to tiara's house. that's where she goes when the house gets on her nerves.
so my granny's prolly downstairs somewhere upset. i really want to stay in my room the rest of the night. i will go down and check on her in a bit, though. i dont like the way she was breathing.
it was like watching tiara and andrea fight. sometimes i feel like the only adult around here.
