ya mama got jell-o feet w/ fruit in the toes.

today, we went walking.

me, my mama, and my playaunt tresa. 3 miles or so. afterwards we stopped at a bar and had greasy meals. lol

we had fun tho, sittin round talkin bout american idol, and politics, and the schivo case.

about the shiavo case (as u can see, i dunno how to spell her name correctly)

ive been avoiding taking any particular side cause it makes my head and heart hurt to think about it. and i still havent taken any sides, but i do lean closer to one than the other, i think.

i think
that at the most basic, rudimentary level
not considering possible motives or politics or pro-lifers or leftists or comparisons to abortion and the death penalty or killing someone vs. murder

in the case of a husband who has seen his wife lay brain dead with no hope of recovering for 15 years

i can understand why he'd want to let her die. now.
"letting her die" is not murder, in my opinion. ppl compare it to murder, but it doesnt translate, not in my mind. murder is not a natural death. feeding tubes and respirators do not constitute a natural life. without them she'd die, her bodily functions would naturally cease. put a bullet in somebody's head and they die by your hand, unnatrually.

the argument here i suppose is 'well, removing that tube forces her functions to cease cause she can't live without it.'

well that's the point. she can't live without it because she's already dead. she hasnt been alive for 15 years. ppl compare removing the tube and letting her die to playing god. well guess what, guys--inserting that tube in the first place is just as big a role, keeping her here when everything else is done, when she'd die otherwise. and i guess an argument to be made here would be "well ppl take medicine to stay alive that they may die without." yeah, but that's the thing. the medicine keeps them alive. that tube is just keeping her here. she's already gone.

i cant imagine living that long in that state.

its hard to imagine having to see my once beautiful child in that condition and then being faced with having her taken from me completely, too.

so its sticky and complicated. that's as deep as im gonna get in it. basics.

today at the table my mama plainly stated to me that if that ever happens to her, just let her go.
god forbid i should ever have to do it, but if i ever do
i will.

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