yesterday was like a dark comedy full of dramatics and overacting. it was sincerely wild. i took the bus home today cause it was a nice day. when i get in, my mama's car wasnt there. she'd got off early to take the girls--my two neices and their little cousin--out for some fun. my granny lets me in, looks out the door and says 'mmph, you just beat your mother.' my mama and the girls were back.
i get in my mama's room and hear my mother yelling--YELLING--top of her lungs, im-gonna-bust-your-ass type yelling at andrea, tiara's little sister. my first thought: she and tiara got in another fight. but soon tiara came into the room with me and said hello, so she was only yelling at andrea. i mean yelling fierce style.
'what were you thinking, young lady?! don't you understand that that is not acceptable?? huh? ANSWER ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!!'
andrea yells back 'YOU SPITTIN ON ME!!'
my mother: IM GONNA DO A LOT MORE TO YOUR LIL ASS IF YOU DON'T ANSWER ME!! i admit, i laughed here.
anyway, my eyes are huge. she stops yelling at her but then tiara starts crying. i guess she sensed that my moms was on her way into the room
'and don't think you're not in any trouble young lady!!!' she shouts to tiara and tiara sputters out a high-pitched whine of an explanation that my mother ignores. their little cousin is obviously not a part of whatever happened and is flitting around the house, not afraid, spectating but stepping very carefully.
i high-tail it upstairs. as she was yelling i heard something about a boy being in their house while no one was home and decided i didnt want any part of it this time.
backtrack: my neices are at home for a couple of hours after school until their mother and stepfather get off of work. they dont come down to my house with my granny because she and tiara don get along alone and its too much drama. there's a big group of kids that hang around the girls. some of them are boys who have crushes on them and are aaaaaalways around. one time tiara supposedly had one of the boys in the house. i think it was innocent, but there was huge fallout over that.
this time, i think tiara let the same boy in to see the puppies one of their dogs just had. again, innocent, but wrong because she knew better.
so anyway, im in my room trying to avoid everything but they were so loud. at one point everybody downstairs is screaming at someone else, except the little cousin.
andrea: SHE DID IT TOO, SHE'S LYIN!!
tiara: NO IM NOT LYIN!!
my mama: BOTH OF YOU, SHUT UP RIGHT NOW!!
my granny: WELL I DONT THANK YOU SHOULD BE YELLIN IN THAT CHILD LIKE THAT--
my mama: MAMA, STAY OUT OF THIS, PLEASE, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOIN ON HERE!!!
later it was just my mother and andrea screaming. my mother, in a very scathing, accusing voice hissed the word 'liar' at andrea repeatedly, which infuriated her.
'IM NOT LYIN!!' she screamed. 'IM NOT LYIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' (note: she only gets this upset when she's caught lying.) she soon started yelling for her daddy. why, i dont know. its not like he'd be more accepting of her letting a boy in the house when she's not supposed to.
lmao i guess you had to be here but i found it hilarious. i was like oh laaaawd i HAVE to get outta this house-- so i change clothes and grab a book and head to the front porch. i got there to find my granny sitting on the top step looking at pieces of mail from the day's run. she immediately leaned over and tried to get the scoop from me. i held up my hand and laughed
'now, mama,' i said, 'i dont want noooooo part of this. i dont think either of us do, so i dont even wanna talka bout it.' she laughed.
'well i dont know what's goin on'
'me either, let's hope it stays that way.'
she was quiet a moment.
'is it about them boys?'
i held up my hand again. momentary silence.
'i try to keep a look out but of course you caint see what's--'
'mama--'
we went on like that for a few minutes. i thought i was safe on the porch but soon after, tiara and my mother come outside. she sits tiara in the chair.
'..this has already happened once before, tiara, that child is not the kind of company you need to keep! he knows he's not supposed to be over there! he knows you cant have company or be outside when your mother's not home! he knows that and it gets you in trouble! stay. away. from. him. do you understand me?' she sobbed in agreement. 'and if i ever catch that lil nigger around here or around there again i swear to go ill stick my foot square up his black ass and i just might stick it up yours too!!'
my granny giggled. so did i.
around this time their mother and stepfather pull up. the look on his face was absolutely priceless. he saw tiara on the porch crying and my mother's face beet-red with anger and was bewildered and concerned and skeptical and confused all at the same time. i wish i had a camera. i couldnt help but laugh. my mother sent tiara in to get the other two and they came slowly filing out of the house, andrea last. i was still sitting next to my granny, who was steadily leaning over trying to get information from me.
when andrea came out the door and walked past us down the steps, my grandmother said cheerfully, 'bye!' oh i bout died laughing. lmao i didnt know she could be so silly.
so. the car pulls off, tearful girls in tow, and my mother comes back up to the steps.
my granny asks her what happened- 'andrea is a damn little liar, that's what.' pause. 'that'll probably get her far in life.' we laughed.
my mother and i drove out to the river, intending to walk, but she stopped and got a beer at a gas station instead. we watched the water--it was high because of the rain--and she drank her beer and i read my book. she talked about the events of the day and i listened and laughed with her about things. it was fun.
on the way home, i tried to talk her into going to dairy queen to get some ice cream. she refused. we debated and finally ended up yelling our points. it went on until i yelled IM NOT LYIN! IM NOT LYIN!! mocking andrea. she lost it, lmao. we laughed til we cried, and then after that everything else made us laugh.
turns out that andrea was lying. she was the one who let the boy in, tiara ran him off, and the cousin saw everything and vouched for the truth. that's how we were certain andrea was lying. she's in trouble, tiara's fine.
for some reason all this was hilarious to me guess you hadda be there.
