okay, i slept half of it away. i rolled outta bed at a quarter til 1 & lord if i didnt' have the weirdest dreams.. i forget all of them though.
but they were weird.
now im in the house with virtually nothing to do. there are things that i can do, theoretically--write, do laundry, clean my room, blah blah. none of those things is sexy to me at the moment, however, and as such, i shall not persue.
anywho i'm in here holding hard to the premise that i have nothing to do. i want to sleep, but i cant. so im just here. typin in the ol blawgie blawg.
this will entertain me for approx 15 mins i suppose. then i think i actually will do some laundry.. i bought some draws yesterday that need some shrinkin. they too big. i think it's amazing that medium-sized hanes (6) are actually too big for my not-so-medium sized caboose. it's crazy. and i can't buy a size smaller, b/c they always end up drawin up in the wash anyway, and shrunken sized 6's are a perfect fit. shrunken size 5's, however, are a prescription for definite labia death by asphyxiation.
but again i digress
i'm moving in a week, give or take a few days. it's actually becoming real to us all now; my mother and i have actually talked about things instead of just shrugging it off or watching the mythic move hover over the horizon like it's a hundred billion miles away. the other night we went out to grab somethin to eat and we were talkin about it a little and i asked her if she was sad or mad at me for leaving; when i leave, she'll be wildly lonely, and i feel sort of selfish for just leaving her to persue whatever it is im trying to persue, so i worry about that. i finally asked her, and she said
no, i'm not mad. i'm proud that u've got the courage to do it, it's amazing.
that made me feel soooooooo much better still, she will be sad, and i will be sad, and i don't think there's any amount of preparation that can prepare us for the 'see you later' once she helps me get all settled in at the new place.
we were talking earlier today about moving up. she's found someone else to drive my belongings up, and she and i and possibly her friend david will be flying up together.
'you know that's a one-way ticket for u, now'
i asked her if she was gonna cry
she said yeah
and i told her not to
and she said 'i'm a mother, there's no way i wont be able to cry'
and then i told her, well just wait til u get home
and then she said 'it's easier for u b/c u're not the mother; i'm sad that u're leaving'
and then i told her nu uh, i'ma be just as sad as she is
and then she said 'well, why are u goin?!' (she wasn't totally serious, though) then i think she said somethin like we'll prolly both be cryin together, then, at the airport
and i was like, nu uh, i aint goin to no airport! we shldn't make it harder than it has to be
and then i told her to make sure that david comes along too, so she won't have to fly back alone. that wld suck.
anyway the moral is that we're all coming to grips w/ this reality. i'm a LITTLE less scared and worried now that we've at least acknowledged that im really seriously movin for awhile.
she and i went out last night and bought some things for my place target got an 80 piece kitchen in a box on sale for $26 and i got a george foreman grill and a shower curtain and 2 bathmats and i already got a buncha towels and i got a soap dish and toofbrush holder and today she bought me some kitchen towels
and my mother gave me a box of silverware that used to be my late uncle claude's still in the box, never used i knew that it'd been up here in my room hidden from my granny since my mother took it from his house after he died and before my aunt daisy's ppl took advantage of her and pretty much took all their belongings so i asked her if i cld had them
she said sure; he'd want me to have them
that makes me feel good
next, i shall be buying bedroom stuff, i guess
i need a perm
im anxious to get there and get the hard part over with.
im gonna have tiara come and visit me while i'm up there, if we can arrange it; she'll be fine w/ a straight-thru flight. she's sad that i'm leavin and doesn't really want me to go, but was relieved when i told her my program's only two yrs & it's not written in stone yet that i'll be gone longer than that, if that long ima try and spend as much time with my girls as i can before move time comes.. tonight, andrea and the baby and i guess tiara too will be down. i'm not TOO happy abt that b/c they'll be here all night; i'da much rather had them during the day so i can have my night to myself and of course if those 3 are gonna be down here, then onyx will wanna come too, but ima tell u sumn if i can help it, 3 kids is my limit. 4 at the most; all them cousins and shit they got stayin in that house are SOL.
im babblin bout nothin now and im hot so ima go take my clothes off or sumthin.
